Thirty-eight years of screaming in the shower

Because no one sees.
Because no one hears.
Because I don’t know
whether to shave my legs
or cut my throat.

Because no one saw.
Because no one heard
Because rending my wet skin
does not ease the ache
of deep shame.

Because a shower won’t drown me.
Believe me, I tried.
It only baptises my pain,
absolving it to sin again.

You are never forgiven.

because of you.
I still scream.